“And now let us welcome the New Year. Full of things that have never been.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke, 20th Century German Poet
When celebrating Epiphany (the word means “revelation”) each year, I imagine what it would be like to travel with the wise men to find Jesus under a sky full of stars. In Sunday’s homily, the priest challenged us to “look up” as the wise men did long ago—to search for Divine counsel, rather than leaning into self-reliance. He encouraged us to be stars ourselves—to bring our light to others.
Every year my family selects a word as a guiding star for the year to come. Last year, my word was SIFT. Coming from an initial attraction to the word SORT, the baker in me thought SIFT a better fit. Sifting in 2021: decluttering physical things in my “empty nester” home, sifting the blessings out of the challenges I faced, prioritizing my time and relationships, sifting through choices to be physically and spiritually healthier (eat better, sleep more, morning prayer) and sifting out (being intentional) ways to positively impact others while staying authentic.
I had expectations for my word; a desire to SIFT through things in my heart and home. From SIFT came goals to achieve—Cracks and crannies I planned on scrubbing to make new, to simplify, to tease out; removing traces of heartache and dysfunction in places that would then heal and grow. My relationships. My writing projects. My personal health. My home. I had plans!
Yet the magical, mystical thing about choosing a word for yourself and what follows is something I have learned to welcome. The chosen word seems to have a spirit of its own. I feel God’s hand in the choosing. I highly recommend the annual ritual of selecting a word. It is an exercise in faith, learning to stay open to where the word may take you. It is reassuring to have it in your back pocket to pull out when you need some encouragement, strength and hope—or some levity.
In 2021, I actually did quite a bit of SIFTing, but not so much within the plans I had made for myself. There were surprises:
· I experienced some intense sifting of the contents of my mother’s belongings as we moved her, at a moment’s notice, into long term care because of her Parkinson’s and dementia. I discovered much of my two grandmothers’ things still needed sorting as well. This proved daunting, exhausting and healing at the same time.
· Discovering a bat infestation in our attic spaces with a roof leak and mold meant more sifting. Add in a shower leaking into the mudroom below and a bathroom remodel. Retrieving a deceased flying squirrel out of the bathroom toilet one fall afternoon amidst all the mess was a sifting of sorts too. (I did not make that up!)
· In addition, my hopes for my most important relationships and my desire to write and create something publishable also changed. The sifting that came in those areas was slower and different than what I wanted. The clarity that came with personal growth was a silver-lining. I was reminded that waiting and feeling like one is doing nothing is, actually, doing an important something.
Other chosen words have amazed me. In 2015, my word was SURRENDER. I selected that word for inspiration to trust the process of recreating myself professionally with my kids nearly launched. I needed to stay open to opportunities in my work and relationships.
That October I had to pivot with a breast cancer diagnosis leading to chemo, surgery and radiation. It was then I realized I may not be choosing a word each year. That year, SURRENDER chose me. I had to let go and trust God to walk with me on the journey, having faith that I would come out on the other side a better version.
In case you’re curious—or being polite in grinding through this long blog post—my 2022 word is DISCOVER. There were other words on my list, but DISCOVER kept nudging me; it kept popping up in things I was reading.
In various support group rooms the word RECOVERY is key to better health and ways of living. They say if you aren’t taking a step forward you are actually taking a step back. There is no fence sitting. For me, DISCOVER is forward thinking. I don’t just want to “recover” the good and solid things from my past that perhaps got lost along the way. I want to “discover” new insights and ways to live...ways to love those around me.
Writer and anthropologist Nora Neale Hurston said, “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” I am hoping to discover answers to the past few years of questions. To embrace DISCOVER forces me to stay open to learn and grow while having my feet (and heart) planted firmly in what I know and have already learned about myself. I want to take risks, discover some answers and perhaps ponder more questions. The journey is where the joy resides no matter the destination. My word keeps me centered.
Reflection & Action:
Word choosing can be exciting. Do we choose our word or does a word choose us? Take these first few days of the year to ruminate on a word or two. Consider your dreams. Check out Create A New Year’s Retreat at Home in my December 2020 Joymaking for some One Word resources. Sit in front of a fire. Light a candle. Go quiet. Pray. Notice when and where a word might come knocking to be your guiding star. Commit to one and let it take you on an adventure. Be sure to carry some blind faith and hope with you. And, like the wise men searching for Jesus on that starry night long ago, may you be filled with silent awe.
Blessings on this Epiphany, in 2022 and beyond...