“Without heroes, we are all plain people, and don’t know how far we can go.
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In a decade old community column for the Lincoln Journal Star, I wrote a piece about Bruce Feller’s THE COUNCIL OF DADS. In it he shared his cancer journey and his desire for his kids to have a council of men who could step in as fathers if he wasn’t able to be present in their formative years. At the time I had a house full of teenagers on the edge of adulting. My essay was a call for parents to encourage their kids to identify and create their own councils AND to let those wonderful people know the gratitude felt for their love and presence. This is a worthy exercise for all of us to revisit from time to time. Whether we are 16 or 60, we are forever in need of a mentor, a sage, a champion of our hearts—someone to listen, to push us past our potential, to accept us as is...to nurture and love us through life.
For me, amidst preparing for Christmas—this holy season of Advent—there is a beautiful focus on the wonder and strength of mothers. On December 8th there is even a special feast day, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception—a day to honor and celebrate Jesus’ own mother, Mary, who has been a silent loving mentor and champion of my heart for so many years. I suppose you could say that Mother Mary is head of my own personal council along with my very own mom, Carolyn, who loves me with all her heart in spite of my broken parts.
And I am blessed with others...I hope they know who they are. Some are much older; one turns 95 this week. Some have passed, yet I carry their essence with me. Some are more like older sisters. All are wiser than me. And, for some reason, all of them love me, accept me , and empower me to live authentically. They are beacons of hope and light. As I intentionally travel in my mind from childhood to present, I whisper their names out loud and offer up a prayer of thanksgiving for each one of them. I vow to reach out to the ones still making trips around the sun to remind them of their influence. I encourage everyone reading this to do the same.
One of my council moms is Willie—a treasure in our community, who was small in stature yet lived ginormously large. Her heart had room for all of us. Willie is why I am writing this morning— after so many months of not writing. Today is her celebration of life, and I miss her. I vow to be more like her...more intentional...more edgy and bold. To eliminate the second guessing of myself and just be my best version—put myself out there. The version that has had 60 years to evolve. I need to keep my heart full of joy and gratitude and be where my hands are, living in the moment. That is what Willie modeled for me.
Jane Yolen says in TAKE JOY, a book about writing, that when we are in periods of our life where we are not able to write, for whatever reason, we are actually “gathering” up life experiences which serve to make our future writing richer. It seems I have been doing a lot of gathering these past few months, and Willie has reminded me that it is time to begin collecting those thoughts on paper again. Thank you Willie, for continuing to encourage and nudge me into my best me.
Saint Teresa of Calcutta once said “You can do what I can’t do. I can do what you can’t do. Together we can do something beautiful for God.” Let’s reflect on who sits on each of our councils. In this Christmas season, as we begin the new year, there is no better time for us to reach out and thank those heroes.
Wishing you Christmas blessings!